Endurance

painted rock found outside the gym.

It's Saturday and I decided to sign up for an early spin class, the instructor seemed to be speaking to me about life, even though she was referring to our exercise class.  Spin class is an intense cardio rush lasting about an hour. The class is on stationary bikes made to exercise in and out of the bike saddle, usually with pumping music and mood lighting...really fun, motivational class...its my fav.   this morning the instructor was saying how change is made when we are most uncomfortable, get out of that comfort zone she said into her mic.  It boomed out of the speakers and hit me like a Mac truck!!!!! Growth comes when we are in pain, uncomfortable ...searching for relief.  I am trying to grow again...searching for me.  I feel my head coming above water and I'm ready to push through discomfort and grow.  Today I'm showing up, waking up and growing.  Today I am choosing happy.  I hope you are too. 

voices

Fred Hartman Bridge, Houston

The voices are familiar, I know the sounds and can sometimes predict what they will say next.  I haven't seen the familiar faces to go along with the familiar voices in a long time. Phone conversations just aren't the same as seeing people in person.    I've been in Houston over a year now.  The familiar is gone.  all the people and places I knew are still there, still moving forward....time marches on.  the familiar sound of Ryan is gone, sometimes I hear him in my mind.  I am still surprised by the newness of my surroundings, the unpredictable actions of the new people in my life, and the unfamiliar terrain of my new location.  I long for simple knowledge of predictability.  The simple truth is I ran away from home.  I thought I could start over fresh, clean slate....but the truth really is my memories came with me, and I miss them.  I feel an edginess creeping in to my being...an uneasy rest..... It's harder to find happy.   I will continue to try and stay in a content frame of mind.  Hello next phase...I feel you.....please be kind.  Love Stacey