Tears

Dear Ryan,

Today I saw a boy, a young man really waiting for his mom while she shopped.  The young man was playing a game or looking at his phone and he was pleasantly entertained, patiently waiting for his mom...Happy to be along for the shopping trip it seemed.  I'm projecting all this on the young man because it reminded me of you. Ryan you were so patient with me, until your last breath .... patient. You were always happy to tag along.  We had some fun times doing not much, didn't we .....  I love and miss you.  Thank you for always being patient with me and for your quirky sense of humor.  Thank you for being my steadfast sidekick.  Did I mention I miss you?  Can I press rewind and have another day ...... if only I could.  I'm sending you my love, my sweet and I'm missing our time together.  

courage

Corpus Christy, Texas
 1/29/2017

From our deepest wounds lies our greatest strenghths ...... Have you ever looked away during the bad part of a movie?  I have!  sometimes I want to look away during the bad parts of my life. I want to hide my head in the sand.  It takes courage to look at the bad parts, to examine them.  I find a disconnect from the bad parts, like they cannot be a part of me; kinda like this can't be happining.  I have bulldozed my life, started fresh.  I thought I would be able to look away from the parts I didn't like, but they seem to have followed me.  I am currently trying to take a closer look at the bad parts and it is painful.  It requires courage and stamina to examine the parts we don't like.  Courage because it is painful, stamina because it takes time to hopefully heal.  I wonder if it will take longer than my lifetime to heal my wounds?  It's currently raining outside but I'm hopeful the sun will come out later today.  The weather forecast will be my emotional guide today, rain with a chance of sunshine.  I'm hopeful for that sunshine, and I know it's gonna be great when it arrives.  I hope you have a sun shinny day no matter the weather outside.